>The person that I long to be versus the person that I am

>I long to be a strong woman who can take care of herself and never cries or shows pain, but I am not.

Yesterday after church I went to the hospital to take care of a problem with my foot and walked out later with a pretty large hole in the bottom of my foot. I thought that I was pretty tough because it didn’t hurt and I never even cried during the procedure. An hour later when the numbness wore off, I was no longer that tough, strong woman that I long to be. But I went to help I friend move anyway and tried to push through the pain. Unfortunately I overdid it, tripped and smashed my finger extremely badly. Within seconds it was four times the normal size and dark purple. I have to give myself credit though because I still didn’t cry. I did shake quite a bit though. Today my finger is still twice its normal size and I can’t bend it all the way. Maybe it is broken.

I wish that I was stronger.

I also long to be the kind of women who can take care of herself and do things like fix cars and build stuff, but I’m not.

On Saturday I accidentally locked the spare bedroom door in my house and closed it. I tried to be like Tamara (who is like MacGuyver) and pick the lock with bobby pins, but after thirty minutes of trying I gave up and called Nathan and Paul to come help me. They came over and had the door open within minutes, thanks to Nathan’s long arms. Yesterday (Sunday) after the foot surgery and the finger smashing, I could not drive my motor bike home so Nathan had to drive me. While he and Paul were there, I talked them into helping me move some furniture. Tonight Nathan is coming over to help me hook up my washing machine because I have failed to figure it out on my own. Thank goodness I have people around to take care of me.

I wish that I was stronger

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3 thoughts on “>The person that I long to be versus the person that I am

  1. >Strength, like beauty, can best be viewed through the beholder, not the beholden. You have traveled across the globe, lived for a year in a country where you didn’t know the language or customs, survived/surviving horrible family tragedy, and continue to share Jesus to those who have no other to share with them. Your strength may not exist for things like moving furniture, personal physical pain, or working on cars, washers, or door locks.Your strength is in your core, your soul where God has prepared you and continues to nurture in you a passion for the ministry of reconciliation where you exemplify your Lord and Savior. Now that I said that…what the heck happened with your foot?

  2. >I’d like to know what happened to your foot, too… BTW, I have to say you are very strong! There’s no way I would help a friend move if I had a big hole in my foot – I’d be at home limping round asking everyone to do stuff for me. I have alot to learn from you 😉

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