>When I first came to Thailand (almost a year and a half ago) I remember getting annoyed when I would talk to people back home. Because I live on the other side of the world, phone calls are seldom made and when they were the conversations would be all about the deep things in life. I remember longing to hear about the little things, like what a person had for lunch or that they yelled at someone on the freeway. I wanted to feel like I was still a part of my friend’s and family’s daily lives.
Lately I have been getting annoyed about the exact opposite thing. I am noticing that my phone conversations with people are full of surface level things and nothing deep. I still love hearing about what a person had for lunch but I also want to hear about their heart and what they are feeling about life and God. I want to feel like I am still important to my friends and family and more than just an acquaintance.
I have been thinking about it this past week and I have come to a bit of a conclusion. I have no right to get annoyed with people for not sharing their lives with me in the same way they did when I lived in the states. After all, I am the one who picked up and left. I am the one who has changed cultures and made it hard to talk to at times. I am the one who has trouble sharing about my life in Thailand in a way that people can understand and be interested in. I am the one who has changed in weird and unfamiliar ways.
So, I am sorry if I have ever been annoyed with you for not giving me what I wanted. Please forgive me. But please also understand that sometimes living here can be extremely lonely and sometimes all I want to do is pack up and go back home to be with you again so that we can share the surface level and the deep things in life. I miss you.
And I look forward the future conversations, whether they be surface level or deep, I will cherish them all.